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Here are more Funny Truths I have received in emails over the years….
- Regular naps prevent old age… especially if you take them while driving.
- Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee, having three makes you a ringmaster!
- Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
- They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cold hard cash.
- A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school clothes.
- Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
- Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without… but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.
- You can’t buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.
- True friends stab you in the front.
- Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me. But be aware…I never forget. Sleep with one eye open.
- Bad officials are elected by good people who do not vote.
- Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
- My husband and I always compromise. He admits he’s wrong and I agree.
- Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
- It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
- Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
- Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
- Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
- Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
- At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
- Everyone who grew up in the 80′s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. {or 867-5309}
- Reading when you’re drunk is horrible.
- Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
- You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your back yard.
- You never know where to look when eating a banana.
- Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
- Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
- Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
- You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
- Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
- The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
- The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
- Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
- You never ever run out of salt. {although my family has disputed that fact}
- You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.
- There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got your hand or head stuck in something.
- People who don’t drive slam car doors too hard
- Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
- Bricks are horrible to carry.
- In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
Do you have any to add?
